Types of coronavirus people

Types of coronavirus people

2020, Mar 05    

Short and not a very serious one.

I think nobody needs an explanation of what the current situation with the coronavirus is. On the rare possibility that you’re reading this in the year 2050, or as you call it - year 34 After the Great Calamity, then please also connect your neo^2 cortex to the Wikipedia article on COVID-19.

During the last 2-3 weeks I had the dubious pleasure of being bombarded from every possible direction by a never-ending stream of opinions around this topic. At some point it became pretty obvious that most of those are produced, or rather repeated, by only a few distinct types of people.

Here are the ones that I identified:

The Doomer

He pretty much thinks that the world is going to end. All the news are lying, the situation is a lot more serious that what we know. Modern technology just can’t break through the informational ban. He is condescending towards all the sheeple. Somehow does not seem to spend all his money before the end.

The Prepper

Would be a Doomer, but he is still fighting. Easy to recognize thanks to the mask. Does a better job disinfecting public spaces than the social services. Buys a lot of pasta and rice. Condescending towards the sheeple as well.

The Spiritual One

Believes that the virus is a punishment of sorts. We may have been a little too light on the sacrifices to some god, or the planet is very disappointed by our CO2 emission. Everyone should stop worrying about the virus and start repenting. Condescending towards the non-believers.

The Natural One

Firmly believes that there is a simple, already available cure to the disease. Likes: garlic, crystals, yoga, praying and vodka. Does not like: big pharma. Condescending towards medicine users.

The Conspiracy Expert

Thinks that the virus was made in a lab on purpose. Spends time mostly trying to preach about chemtrails and the the New World Order. If you ask him directly what this is all about, he will squint and reply “Who told you to ask??”. Too paranoid to be condescending.

The Enlightened One

Does not care a bit about the virus, since all this is just a media hoax. We should be more worried about common flu and ebola outbreaks in the US and Europe. Very skilled at combining different statistics to fit the model. Pretty much a p-value hacker. Condescending towards everyone.

All of those types have one thing in common. Not a single one of them can provide any data to back up their opinions. It’s always some article that they promise to send, yet somehow fail to deliver. Must be a plague of email failure. It’s some 100% reliable study that they read about in the Internet, they just can’t remember where. Seems that there is another virus going around, selectively removing memory.

In this glorious year 2020, in which we have more information that we can possibly digest in a lifetime, I ask only for one thing. Please stick to the facts.